Where the heart is

I don’t quite know exactly where this came from, but it was good to think about where I am at right now.

An offer I couldn’t refuse

Last weekend, I was in Hamburg, after a good friend of mine offered me the chance to become a godfather. Of course, it wasn’t until I showed up at the church with a violin case that I realised my mistake, but we laughed it off and I managed to dispose of the horse’s head without anyone noticing.

For someone like me, who hasn’t had much experience with babies, the experience was a daunting one, especially when a small, bald, dribbling, toothless person was thrust into my arms and I realised that this was both my past and, very possibly, my future. While I am still of sound mind, I should like to apologise in advance to the staff at whatever nursing home I end up bald, dribbling and toothless in.

Of course, like most babies, my new godson didn’t care much about my own plans for a pleasant evening, but for his part, he’t just had a very large meal. After a lot of squirming around, he finally grabbed hold of my best shirt and stuffed a fistful of it into his mouth.

This, I rapidly discovered, was a cynical ploy. The warm, wet sensation spreading from exactly that point signalled the fact that dinner had broken off its trek through the child’s digestive tract and returned to the outside world via the end not swathed in absorbant materials manufactured to the highest standards of hygiene. There is, I feel, an obvious gap in the market here.

The genius of this exercise lay in the fact that nobody else could actually see anything, which meant that I had a devil of a time persuading him that little JD (as I shall call him) had done more than just cough slightly. Once convinced, they were at least gracious enough to remove the child from my person, revealing a fair amount of stringy goo.

Of course, right after that, JD decided he wanted seconds, which leads me to suspect that the whole thing was planned from beginning to end. For some reason, nobody believes me.

Anyway, since I never did get any of that on film, here’s a consolation: an educational video. Yay!

The science of flamingos

According to a report on the BBC website, a team of scientists believe they now know why flamingos stand on one leg. Here’s how the BBC quoted one of the scientists:

The results provide definitive evidence that thermoregulation is a principle function of unipedal resting in flamingos.

I know Matthew Anderson is a scientist, but outside of an actual research paper, does he really have to talk like Spock? Translated into the kind of English we lesser mortals can get our heads around, he’s saying that flamingos stand on one leg to help regulate their body temperature.

Shooting star unspectacular

What can I say? Tonight is one of the best nights of the year for shooting stars, and we have a nice, thick cloud cover. As usual.

There’s one bright spot, though. Reading the BBC’s article on the spectacle, you have a chance to watch the little video of the UK weather forecast about half-way down, which suggests that at least most of my family will also be denied a decent view of this amazing and stunning natural phenomenon. As an added bonus, at the end of the clip, a short text suggests another video you might enjoy, only this blurb has been truncated, so it reads: “Skywatchers are getting ready for the most exciting displays of shooting&hellip” — an intriguing possibility indeed.

Sad geek meet

So last weekend was the not-really-very-official German YouTube gathering in Frankfurt, which is close enough from where I live that I could attend without having to book a hotel, and I made two days out of three.

It was, as it turned out, a very pleasant weekend, with about twenty-five attendees. That doesn’t sound like much — it wasn’t — but it was a pleasant, friendly meet.

A lot of people didn’t make it, including Germany’s number 1 YouTube star, coldmirror, who’d initially intended to be there; and several people I’d hoped to meet again after last year were also conspicuous by their absence. Then again, I did meet some new people, so on balance, it was good.

And my cheeseburger was good. I’d definitely recommend Chicago Meatpackers unless you’re on a budget (certainly beats McDonald’s); although if you prefer German food and don’t mind a long trip to the outskirts of the city, Zum lahmen Esel is worth a visit.

I managed to get everyone on film except for DiamondOfTears, who arrived after dark on Saturday, in light levels my camera just couldn’t cope with (sorry, Amy).